Duffel Blog’s guide to failing your sleep study
If you soil yourself you’re guaranteed to be flagged for having something wrong with you.
4 min read
As for Class
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This gorilla learned sign language, and immediately told everyone it went to West Point
"The very first thing he signed was, ‘Dookie, Sir, West Point, Sir!’”
3 min read
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Lieutenant won't shut the fuck up about IPAs
“He won’t stop,” said Sgt. Jake Mendoza, rolling his eyes.
2 min read
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Pentagon establishes task force of task forces to address need for task forces
“So, naturally, we formed a task force to determine whether we had too many task forces."
2 min read
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Pentagon says Space Force can sleep inside tonight since it’s so cold
"Given the extreme cold, we thought it only humane to let the Space Force come inside for the night."
3 min read
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Pentagon reveals soldiers have eaten cats and dogs for decades
"It turns out that the mysterious meat served in DFACs was not the ‘Grade-H beef’ we claimed."
3 min read
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5 dead, 3 hospitalized after airmen try MREs on a dare
Don't try this at home, kids.
2 min read
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Discord wins DoD server contract
The decision comes after high-ranking officials reportedly got “really into Among Us lobbies” and appreciated the platform’s robust emoji support.
3 min read
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Applebee’s admits its heart just isn’t in it anymore
We'll always have the Dollaritas
2 min read
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2nd Lt. Who locked up chief Warrant officer 5 commended for finding elusive chief Warrant officer 5
Young officer was looking for Pokemon at the time
3 min read
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New water-saving latrines just leave poop there forever
You thought they were broken
3 min read
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Soldier wrestles with starting a profile on LinkedIn or OnlyFans
One is rife with costumes and masturbation, the other has naked pictures
2 min read
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Navy rams ___ into ___ in show of force to near peers
Not at all like when ___ hit ___ and the ___ got relieved for ___ the junior ___
1 min read
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Toxic Major looking forward to being toxic Lieutenant Colonel
"It's a new layer of inferiors to abuse!"
3 min read
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USAF offers to donate A-10s to Ukraine. Or anybody at all, really. Please. Just F*cking take them already
Hundreds of airframes may be left on curb for pick up
4 min read
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Corpsman awarded Nobel prize in medicine for mixing Tylenol with Motrin
A beautiful mind.
2 min read
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DOD: Maybe this osprey thing was actually a bad idea?
Boeing: "No, no, it's all good."
2 min read
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Navy commander relieved for treating his sailors like people
"I’ll try to be more indifferent and detached in the future."
2 min read
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Study finds 87% of Marine privates could be replaced with Roombas
Can a Roomba beat a final boss or drink 7 Four Lokos in 14 minutes?
1 min read
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38-year-old soldier uses GI bill to go to Hogwarts
Whomping Willows aside, he will still need to certify enrollment
3 min read
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Marine scientists discover water also makes the grass grow
Spirit of the bayonet is now "To Hydrate"
1 min read
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Schrödinger's Specialist baffles philosophers and platoon sergeants alike
What is a sham but a perception?
3 min read
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Intel private who got classified tattoo now living in SCIF
No video games, no Dodge Challengers, not a single luxury
1 min read
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S3 admits he wishes you were all dead
The truth that must never be spoken cannot be unsaid.
2 min read
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MEDCOM classifies hemorrhoids as sensitive items
Hospitals flooded with questions regarding retention
2 min read
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