The commander of a military dining facility at Bagram Airbase was fired this week due to a "loss of condiments" within his command, according to a Resolute Support
THE PENTAGON — The Army may have a new physical fitness test, but the Navy has countered with a new Combat Fatness Test. All chief petty officers and above are going
WASHINGTON – Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner was awarded U.S. Space Force jump wings today, making him the very first recipient of the new service’s most coveted badge. The U.
WASHINGTON — The tenth Secretary of Veterans Affairs, The Honorable Robert Wilkie, is proud to announce his agency finally has mailed Navy veteran Kirk Douglas his disability rating decision. The Veterans
FORT LEE, Va. — Lt. Col. Wendell Bowers caused the United States to lose the Global War on Terror this week after he allowed his S3 section leave prior to 1900
WASHINGTON, Planet Earth – The first Chief of Space Operations, Gen. John Raymond, deeply regrets crowdsourcing the name for America’s newest military branch, according to sources. “I thought it would
RESOLUTE SUPPORT HQ, Afghanistan — The potential for an end to The Forever War has prompted the generals in Afghanistan to scramble to create a formal plan for how to leave.
WASHINGTON — General Paul E. Funk II, Commander of US Army Training and Doctrine Command, released his command philosophy this week. Sources confirm it is just a list of inspirational memes
FORT KNOX, Ky. – Army Human Resources Command (HRC) announced that Russian and Chinese army personnel specialists will review officer records in an “international delight” section of the new Battalion Commander
MOSCOW — The Kremlin has decided to cease a variety of malign activities for Lent, reports say. The 40-day period includes all manner of hybrid warfare activities ranging from assassinating dissidents
WASHINGTON — As the Army evaluates several prototype aircraft for its Future of Vertical Lift modernization initiative, one coal-powered tiltrotor is quickly gaining popularity with Congress. “This amazing piece of machinery
FORT BRAGG — Devout Catholic and dedicated first sergeant Anthony Lawrence has decided to give up on the soldiers in his company for the 40-day period of Lent this year. The
DJIBOUTI — An American soldier battling a potentially life-threatening coronavirus infection is just thankful he is not stationed at Fort Polk, Louisiana. “I try to keep a positive attitude because there
DOHA, Qatar – The Taliban has unexpectedly called for the extradition of the zookeeper who killed Harambe the gorilla, State Department officials confirmed today. The move has cast a pall of
KABUL — Fed up with its lack of progress and increasing obesity, the United States has told the Afghanistan War to “Get your ass off the couch and get a damn
Leaving Afghanistan reminds many troops of getting divorced from their first spouse. While they may now be incredibly happy, free, and ready to bang anything that moves, it can be
WASHINGTON — With the 20th anniversary of the disastrous Pearl Harbor movie just over a year away, a private commission is urging creation of a monument to commemorate the tragic event.
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Military priorities put majors last on the triage list as a part of procedures to manage the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak, sources confirmed. Emails obtained by reporters
ARLINGTON — Retired Major General Edmund G. Ripper was laid to rest on Thursday, and per the wishes outlined in his will, he was joined and forever entombed with copies of
WASHINGTON — The Department of Veterans Affairs returned a feedback survey to Staff Sgt. Michael Gillespie on Tuesday, noting “More evidence is needed before we can process your feedback.” “It’s
KABUL, Afghanistan — Despite America’s best efforts to leave Afghanistan, the central Asian country refuses to accept the breakup. Afghanistan responded to the latest attempt by texting, “Oh no you
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence said late Monday that the Coast Guard Cutter Munro off the coast of San Francisco will remain offshore until funding for the crew to be
HEIDELBERG, Germany — Lt. Gen. Christopher Cavoli, commander of all US Army forces in Europe, is totally not at work today because he has coronavirus and not because he’s having
FORT DIX, N.J. — In response to the outbreak of novel Coronavirus, or COVID-19, a commander has opted to hold a mandatory all hands meeting to discuss quarantine procedures. “The
WASHINGTON — A recent tweet from the commander of a program dubbed “The Ark” has increased national concerns over the project nobody outside the Department of Defense had ever heard of
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