ISIS cancels all suicide attacks amid coronavirus scare
THE CALIPHATE — Amid growing fears of the coronavirus, or COVID-19, pandemic, the Islamic State has announced it is canceling all suicide attacks for the foreseeable future to protect its
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THE CALIPHATE — Amid growing fears of the coronavirus, or COVID-19, pandemic, the Islamic State has announced it is canceling all suicide attacks for the foreseeable future to protect its
WASHINGTON — Acting Secretary of the Navy Thomas B. Modly cited the importance of a 355-ship navy in the fight against the novel coronavirus at a think tank roundtable today
FRANKFORT, Ky. — Daryl Hoffman Jr. felt pride as he kept the “faith of his fathers” by becoming the fourth generation in his family to almost join a branch of the
QUANTICO, Va. — The first confirmed case of the COVID-19 coronavirus in a U.S. military member has been traced to a Marine putting his hands in his pockets last
THE PENTAGON — Responding to increasing pressure from Congress and veterans organizations regarding the potential negative health effects of burn pits, the Pentagon today finally promised concrete action. “We’re going
FORT BENNING, Ga. — Just one month from his final change of responsibility, Sgt. Maj. Christopher Roth realized that he needed one more emotional boost before his retirement. He had noticed
WASHINGTON — The two-year old dependent of a local Marine just won’t stop misbehooving, sources at the Washington Marine Barracks report. Gunnery Sgt. Chester Thompson, whom subordinates collectively describe
WASHINGTON — Everyone's favorite MRE will no longer be available a Pentagon spokesperson admitted in a press conference yesterday. There have been no incidents with the bat tartare entree,
FORT HOOD, Texas — In a speech to his assembled battalion Tuesday, Sgt. Maj. Wade Thompson of the First Sustainment Brigade, First Cavalry Regiment, emphasized to his Soldiers that they must
CAPE DISAPPOINTMENT — Witnesses in the southwestern corner of Washington state have reported that a 47-foot Coast Guard vessel was last seen having the time of its fucking life crashing
PYONGYANG, North Korea — Multiple sources have reported that the North Korean government abruptly ordered “all nonessential military personnel” to starve from home for the foreseeable future in light of mounting
EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE, California — As the saga of seemingly never-ending problems plaguing the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Program continues, things took took an unexpected turn this past
FORT LIVING ROOM—The army announced it would stand up the Teleworking Center of Excellence by the end of the month, sources at Army Training and Doctrine Command (TRADOC) report.
PETERSON AFB, Colo. — The faculty of the newly founded Space War College is finding it difficult to slip the surly bonds of Earthly doctrine. For generations, senior service colleges have
FORT BENNING, Ga. — Capt. Lynnette Diogo made history this week when she became the Army’s first ever female PowerPoint Ranger. Diogo, a West Point graduate, is currently the Assistant
Photo Credit: U.S. Army The following regards the involvement of Lieutenant General Laura Richardson, a dual-military spouse, in her husband’s Family Readiness Group. The point is presented
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Concerns over the COVID-19 pandemic have derailed Deep State plans to use Army special operations forces to invade the southwestern region of the United States
THE PENTAGON — Reports have emerged of a mysterious hero fighting COVID-19—as well as toxic leadership across the Department of Defense. The hero, known only as "Captain C&
FORT BRAGG, N.C. —Expert land navigator and platoon leader First Lt. Keith Knoll is lost on the hunt for his girlfriend’s g-spot, sources say. Lt. Knoll reportedly
PANAMA CITY, FL — High ranking military officers are hitting the beach this week despite concerns about COVID-19. A time-honored tradition for future generals, spring break this year instead
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — The E-4 Mafia announced today they have designated sergeants major, command sergeants major, and first sergeants as nonessential personnel for the remainder of the COVID-19
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A local Marine sergeant major was torn today over whether he should solve the global COVID-19 pandemic with uniform inspections or haircuts, sources report. "
WASHINGTON — The Defense Department’s temporary halt to military moves could has left thousands of moving company workers unemployed. To offset the losses, companies are resorting to selling everyone’s
THE PENTAGON — Sgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps Troy E. Black screamed at the press today during a conference, saying, “I can quit getting haircuts whenever I want!” The outburst
SAN DIEGO — A representative of Princess Cruises has met with the U.S. Navy Pacific fleet to share what the cruise ship operator has learned about Coronavirus in the past
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