FORT HOOD, Texas — Sgt. 1st Class Walter Weldon has been “really doing, like, the absolute bare minimum, now that he’s hit the 12-years-until-retirement mark,” according to other soldiers in
THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Jordanian-born terrorist leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi issued a sternly-worded message in the wake of presidential campaign rhetoric suggesting that either George W. Bush or Barack
WASHINGTON, DC – In a move sure to please anyone born in the Neolithic Age, Gen. Robert B. Neller, commandant of the Marine Corps, recently announced the return of the “Old
ABDERDEEN PROVING GROUND, Md. — Public Affairs officials at 20th Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and Something That Begins With “E” Command are scrambling after a slew of IG complaints were made
RIO DE JANEIRO – U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte departed the 2016 Summer Olympics under accurate and sustained sniper fire, U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte reported, adding with quiet admiration that
JUNEAU, Alaska — Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, has finished swimming in the Rio Olympics and moved on to become the Coast Guard’s one and only
WASHINGTON — President Obama has released 15 detainees from the Guantanamo Bay detention center to make room for incoming waves of Syrian refugees, sources confirmed. This was the second major announcement
FORT MEADE, Md. — The recent leak of National Security Agency hacking exploits appears to have been caused by Microsoft’s helpful office assistant, Clippy, according to current and former employees
WASHINGTON — The US government has raised its terror warning status this week after the FBI issued a warning that the terror group ISIS may have access to the chemical dihydrogen
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — The Marine Corps has announced the authorization of an “extra very special insignia” MARSOC operators will be able to wear “in order to make POGs understand
THE PENTAGON — Following a recent revelation that the terrorist organization ISIS plans to target US military members, officers especially, the Department of Defense is requiring troops to choose clothing which
The following letter was sent to a veteran who applied for a job. Dear Job Applicant, We thank you for your interest in the position with our company. However, at
WASHINGTON — After a spate of recent concerns over the misidentification of six men photographed raising a flag over Iwo Jima, the Marine Corps has now revealed that the men were
The following is a Point/Counterpoint concerning the proper pronunciation of the name of Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune. Col. Robert Schild (Ret.), an amateur historian who served in the
NORTH BEND — The Coast Guard presented the Silver Life Saving Medal Thursday to a Coast Guardsman who risked his life to rescue a man from drowning in Coos Bay last
HOUSTON — Lt. j.g. Evan Summerlin has told shipmates and relatives that he is currently suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, a source involved in the investigation reports. Summerlin recently pulled
GLOUCESTER, Mass. — Wow! You’re in the Coast Guard? That’s so cool! My cousin Mike is in the Coast Guard too. You probably know him. He’s on one
ARLINGTON, Va. — Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus announced plans today to replace uniforms with even worse ones, debuting the Navy's switch to a forest camouflage pattern because
JAKARTA, INDONESIA — The self-proclaimed Islamic State announced it was expanding with affiliates in Indonesia and Malaysia today, at a time when the terror group is under incredible financial strain amid
PHILADELPHIA – Proud parents Tom and Trish Meyers can’t stop talking about their son Jacob’s potty training accidents, adorable childhood mispronunciations, and grisly combat death, sources confirmed today. “Dad’
ARLINGTON, Va. — Former Marine Capt. Jen Becker terrified coworkers at the insurance firm where she worked Tuesday by pulling out a Ka-Bar to slice an apple at her desk. Given
WASHINGTON — Animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has called for a halt to SEAL training after allegations of illegal hair product testing on trainees. PETA claims
FORT MEADE, Md. —The National Security Agency has announced their latest tech innovation, a dating app which runs on classified networks named StripR. Developers explained that many agency analysts work
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — After an unexpected spike in the price of ibuprofen brand Motrin, Surgeon General Nadja West has announced that the Army is unable to provide the drug
PEARL HARBOR — After the Justice Department criticized the state of North Carolina's “discriminatory” legislation on the use of public bathrooms by transgender people, the Pentagon has ordered the
Shipping & taxes calculated at checkout.
