WASHINGTON — The U.S. Air Force has been acting out at school recently, Duffel Blog has learned.

“I think the little tyke is just anxious about the arrival of the newest little bundle of death and destruction,” said a radiant Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, referring to the U.S. Space Force. “It’s normal for kids their age to be jealous when they have to share dominance of the aerial battle space.”

The service allegedly broke several of its airplanes in a tantrum after hearing President Trump’s announcement last month. Reports indicate that the organization has also begun a phase of emotional regression, marked by a fixation on strategic bombing theory and intercepting Soviet missiles.