Air Force reveals artist rendering of $5 trillion stealth money pit

WASHINGTON — Air Force officials have revealed the first artist renderings of the service's next-generation stealth money pit, which Congress has already earmarked roughly $5 trillion toward for research and development.

The highly advanced B-36S money pit will be outfitted with radar-evading stealth technology and is highly classified, giving the service the added benefit of evading larger public scrutiny of wasteful spending.

News of the pit comes just one month after the Air Force unveiled its first images of the B-21 stealth bomber, an aircraft that looks similar to the B-2 bomber. The B-21 will be designed to avoid advances in enemy radar technology for at least two to three months, until Chinese hackers steal engineering blueprints from an idiotic defense contractor clicking suspicious links in his email.

Officials have not yet said what types of missions the pit will be used for, but some are speculating it could be used in sophisticated targeting operations against wide-ranging government budget line items, such as the GI Bill and infrastructure spending.