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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 134 · Monday, 9 November 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

Pentagon says condemned prisoners could compete for freedom in televised death matches

Pete Hegseth picks wrong week to stop drinking

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

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Vol. 15 · No. 134

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 134 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

9 November 2026

0205 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Alien presents F-35 as proof of intelligent life to Homeworld government

Did you ever actually SEE a debris field?

Filed · 0703

A Glorpidonian engineer puzzles over airworthiness of the rudimentary F35 Lightning

ANDROMEDA GALAXY — Uproar broke out on planet Glorpidon IV yesterday as an extraglorrestrial visitor to Earth arrived back on his home planet, proudly presenting an F-35 Lightning fighter jet as undeniable proof that intelligent life exists beyond the stars.

The alien, known in his native tongue as Zarblax, claimed to have obtained the state-of-the-art aircraft just lying around during a visit to Earth, an unimpressive planet orbiting Sol in the boonies of the Milky Way.

Zarblax addressed the High Council of Glorpidon IV in a press conference that left planetary leaders both bewildered and skeptical.

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