By Whiskey Fueled Tirade

PENTAGON — The Army will name its new 200-ton main battle tank after Gen. Mark A. Milley, the former Army Chief and current Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, according to a press release this morning.

“We’re calling this sturdy little fella the Mk20 Milley,” Army Chief of Staff Gen. James McConville told reporters. “One of our majors suggested the name and it just kind of stuck. I’m not too sure where he got the idea, it’s probably just a respectful nod to Gen. Milley’s efforts to modernize the Army.”

As the Chief of Staff prior to McConville, Milley was known for prioritizing modernization investments, championing the new “pinks and greens” uniform, and being the first soldier to earn a perfect score on the Army’s new combat fitness test. 

As for the tank’s functionality, McConville said he is pleased with the Mk20’s performance in milestone testing. The tank’s shorter height profile makes it more difficult to target and its lower center of gravity makes it …