Base flags at half staff for ‘Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Day’

JOINT BASE ANDREWS, Md.—In honor of Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Day, Joint Base Andrews commander Col. Richard Weinerstein has ordered all flags flown at half-staff.

“Many of our airmen find this condition is hard,” said Weinerstein, “Or semi-hard.”

MWR and family programs are supporting the day’s awareness events with a partially inflated bouncy house.

“It’s time we pay attention to this very real condition that affects the quality of life for so many of our airmen—and interested airwomxn,” Weinerstein continued. “We’ve put our best resources into this problem: online training.”

“We even added it to our best safety briefs.”

Weinerstein's chief of staff, Maj. Rod Bonerman, doesn't think the issues rises to a problem requiring medication, however.

“Viagra? Whoah, let’s not rush things,” said Bonerman. “I think chaplains can address this with a prayer breakfast. Last year’s turnout was a little soft. We had to do something to get the men really pumped up.”