British Navy uses giant bowl of rice to repair F-35 that crashed into Mediterranean
Pip pip cheerio!
By Grumpy
LONDON — The British Royal Navy and Lockheed Martin announced they have prepared a giant bowl of rice to repair the crashed F-35 that was recently recovered from the seafloor. Lockheed Martin said the plane would remain in the rice “overnight, maybe a couple days” in hopes of drying out the aircraft’s sensitive electronics.
“I tried it with my iPhone, and it totally worked,” Adm. Sir Ben Key, First Lord of the Admiralty, told reporters. “The things you can learn on Pinterest!”
“Yeah, we also got like 20 hairdryers blowing on the F-35 for a while, when we were bringing it to shore on the boat,” Lockheed Martin CEO James Taiclet added. “Sure it’s dangerous to use hair dryers in open water, but we are pretty sure it got rid of a lot of water.”
Retired Royal Air Force Sgt. Maj. Mike Burke, a former AV-8 Harrier maintainer, says he was consulted by the RAF for solutions. He recommended spinning the plane “really fast” on the end of a rope, to “fling” the water from the damaged …
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