By Bull Winkle
RZESZOW-JASIONKA, Poland — The U.S. is doubling down on defending NATO by deploying one of its newest force enhancements, a company of skilled exotic dancers.
The arrival of the Army’s first Expeditionary Exotic Dancer Company (EEDC) gives the U.S. commitment to European security added flexibility and glitter.
Maj. Terry Wilson of Headquarters U.S. Army Europe said the deployment is evidence of bringing America’s best assets to NATO defense. “Exotic dancers are as much a part of the military as mandatory training,” Wilson said, “and more valuable in every way.”
Wilson said that lessons from recent conflicts show that separating soldiers from opportunities to spend money on local artists, marry, and almost certainly divorce lowers their attention spans and readiness.
“So if the troops can’t get to the drama, we’ll bring the drama to the troops,” he said.
Commander of the EEDC, Dancer First Class (DFC) Chrystal Carrington expanded, “the soldiers are miserable without us,” she s…
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