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US Navy glad someone else’s boat fucked up for once
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US Navy glad someone else’s boat fucked up for once

Ever Given gives Navy a break

Mar 31, 2021
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Share this post
US Navy glad someone else’s boat fucked up for once
www.duffelblog.com
Container Ship 'Ever Given' stuck in the Suez Canal, Egypt. (Photo: Pierre Markuse/Flickr)

By Addison Blu

SUEZ CANAL — The U.S. Navy is rejoicing after the container ship Ever Given blocked the Suez Canal for six days, marking the first time in recent history someone else’s boat fucked up worse than them.

“Crashing into the bank of a major thoroughfare is so elegantly simple, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it,” said Adm. Michael M. Gilday, Chief of Naval Operations. “But we’re still undefeated at catching fire, colliding with other boats, accidentally sailing into foreign waters, and causing a massive COVID outbreak.”

The blockage stopped all traffic through one of the world’s busiest waterways for nearly a week, costing billions in dollars, a sum the Navy normally refers to as “a rounding error.”

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