US Navy glad someone else’s boat fucked up for once

Ever Given gives Navy a break

By Addison Blu

SUEZ CANAL — The U.S. Navy is rejoicing after the container ship Ever Given blocked the Suez Canal for six days, marking the first time in recent history someone else’s boat fucked up worse than them.

“Crashing into the bank of a major thoroughfare is so elegantly simple, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it,” said Adm. Michael M. Gilday, …