THE WHITE HOUSE — The Trump administration has minted several hundred military challenge coins to hand out to service members and dignitaries on the Korean peninsula to commemorate the upcoming failure of its US-North Korea peace summit, sources confirmed today.
The White House Communications Agency on Monday released photos of the coins, which feature President Donald Trump and Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un facing each other over text of "Peace Talks" — a reference to a summit between the two leaders set to take place in Singapore that will break down in "spectacular" fashion, according to defense officials.
"It will be the biggest and most beautiful failed peace negotiation of all time," Trump told reporters. "Way better than Obama, let me tell you. Believe me."
The historic meeting between the two leaders is currently in the final planning stages, senior White House officials said. Among the topics Trump and Kim are set to discuss is their taste in women, who has better hair, whether The Walking Dead is any good this season, and if time allows, nuclear disarmament.
In various emails and press statements, The White House in the past week has boasted of what it has called an "incredibly historic and successful failure" to come, which it says will demonstrate President Trump's dealmaking skill and ability to project an image of success amid an objectively crushing defeat.
According to officials, the coins for the summit are to be distributed to a lucky few that are close to the negotiation, soldiers providing security, and former NBA basketball player Dennis Rodman, who will be the master of ceremonies and jello wrestling referee during the meeting.