Yankee Candle rival Confederate Candle smells of defeat
A proud yet unpopular scent.
MONTGOMERY, Ala. – Over 160 years since its founding and as part of a rebranding that has lasted nearly as long, the Confederate Candle Company announced Thursday that it plans to release a series of new scents. The company announced that their new “Heritage Not Hate” line will include heavy perfumes to cover the company’s trademark smell of defeat.
The new scents featured include Lost Cause, Fresh Cotton Gin, and States Rights. Candle experts who received trial products as part of the announcement report that all of the new items smell of racism, whitewashing, and hints of lavender.
“These scents transport you back to an era of antebellum gentility,” stated CEO Forrest Jefferson. “An era of prosperity rooted and paid for by involuntary, chattel gentility.”
Despite being largely overshadowed by its much better-known rival, Yankee Candle, the Confederate Candle Company maintains significant popularity in areas throughout the South, Texas, and oddly rural northern regions like upstate New York.
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