LANGLEY, Va. — The Central Intelligence Agency today released transcripts of conversations intercepted on the so-called “Terror Help Line” between ISIS agents in the field and tech support in Syria. In
YOUR HEADQUARTERS — Praise all God or gods that may be, because lo and behold, there is a briefer to read literally every single word on the powerpoint slides. Even better,
TOLEDO, Ohio — Holiday cheer is reportedly low in some communities this season, as suicide bombers were unexpectedly notified that they may have to work Christmas day. In yet another example
MOSUL, Iraq — The Islamic State continues their quest to create a nation following the teachings of Allah, the Infinitely Merciful and Compassionate Lord, through mass murder of innocents, sources report.
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Sgt. Maj. Lawrence Kershner called an emergency battalion formation to warn soldiers not to watch The Force Awakens after seeing it at a midnight showing, battalion
TWENTYNINE PALMS, CALIF. -- Marine officials announced they have apprehended Lance Cpl. Jennifer Cruz for defacing port-a-johns throughout the Twentynine Palms area with pictures of vaginas and clitorises. Waiving her
The holiday season is now in full swing, with only a few shopping days left until Christmas. Whether you are looking for that perfect gift or for a few last-minute
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Fresh off an historic upset over the South Carolina Gamecocks, The Citadel managed yet another surprise this year by beating a dead horse. In developments that shocked
PHILADELPHIA – Shortly after suffering their 14th straight loss to Navy, Black Knights head coach Jeff Monken was expressly vocal on who he felt dropped the ball. “Women don’t belong
'Twas the Duty NCO before Christmas, throughout all gov'rnment property in view Not a creature was stirring, those not on leave were few Having just toured the
THE PENTAGON — At the Joint Chiefs annual holiday secret Santa gift exchange, each branch of the service received one special gift for the rest of the year: A working Littoral
THE PENTAGON – The Islamic State has developed a new, incredibly effective way to safeguard their communications, according to intelligence sources. By putting the phrase “Star Wars Spoiler” in message headers,
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Marine Corps Band was NJP'd last night midway through a holiday concert held at the Pentagon, after performing "Baby, It's Cold
NEW YORK — With a winning bid of $3, the humanitarian pharmaceutical executive now accused of securities fraud has become the sole owner of the final album released by the Air
MOODY AFB, Ga. - Members of the 75th Fighter Squadron have been behaving intentionally naughty in the hopes that Santa will deliver enough coal to continue fueling their aircraft, Duffel
NORFOLK, Va. — Weirdo Seaman Jacob Parke is on watch talking about how he can freeze time again, sources report. Parke is spending the entire 1200 – 1700 watch on the quarterdeck
WASHINGTON — An examination of personnel records obtained through a Freedom Of Information Act request revealed that the Commander in Chief of the entire United States military, Barack H. Obama, has
THE PENTAGON — Col. Jerry Martin, an infantry officer who has never deployed overseas, has finally decided to rotate out of the Pentagon after 15 years there, according to sources. Friends
WASHINGTON — After barely making their 2015 recruiting goal, The United States Army Recruiting Command (USAREC) is eliminating enlistment bonuses in their 2016 recruiting plan in order to heavily target a
WASHINGTON — Following a rash of whistleblowing that senior leaders have called "annoying," "unacceptable," and even "treasonous," the Army has announced a stopgap order banning
Jimmy’s Tavern — Two Army veterans with similar experiences in combat have been unable to top each other's tales from Iraq and Afghanistan and now transitioned to stories
SOUTHWEST ASIA — A recent study kept secret by CENTCOM shows that mobile porn sites work best on the base chapel's wifi, sources have confirmed. According to the joint-service
MAUI, Hawaii — As Coast Guard Station Maui’s 45’ Response Boat (RBM) pulls alongside the party boat Purple Pineapple, lead boarding officer Boatswains Mate 1st Class Joe Silva quickly looked
DULLES AIRPORT, Va. – In the latest case of veterans exposing and shaming military imposters without error, six year-old terminally-ill Cancer patient and Make-A-Wish participant Timmy Smith was confronted by two
WASHINGTON — Federal agencies have taken what administration officials are calling "bold, decisive strides" to hire more veterans by adding a "Careers for veterans" section their websites
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