US finally leaves Afghanistan
“It is time to close this chapter of American history."
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US Navy glad someone else’s boat fucked up for once
Ever Given gives Navy a break
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Defense secretary celebrates Passover with slaughter of firstborn budget requests
SecDef Lloyd Austin ritually murdered every budget
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Duffel Blog just made history
What a week.
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Inspiring! This infantryman traded Marine camouflage for a Papa John's uniform
He's got a pizza our hearts
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Pentagon disappointed with results of ‘it’s just a little prick’ vaccine campaign
“It takes a little prick to stop Covid-19.”
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Kim Jong-Un seen outside Mar-a-Lago blasting 'in your eyes' on boombox
Kim tries to win back his crush.
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Iranian military holds mandatory extremism standup
Iran is rooting out weak-ass posers from the ranks.
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Tucker Carlson says he's not thrilled about male military uniforms either
"All of today’s war gear should appear more menacing to strike fear into Chinese hearts.”
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Congressional investigation uncovers what you can do with a drunken sailor
“Some of the most effective methods of dealing with a drunken sailor are the simplest,” said Chief Petty Officer Randall Keel.
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Air Force opens first Montessori Officer Training school
“Traditional commissioning programs are, by definition, extremely rigid,” said Lt. Col. Dan “Moon” Beam.
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Army mandates quarterly 'don’t invade the Capitol' training
"We’re hopeful...we can significantly reduce the number of soldiers who invade the Capitol each year."
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Michigan to host first Space Force militia
They already have about 10 cases of freeze-dried astronaut ice cream.
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D.C. National Guard deployment extended due to traffic on Beltway, Connecticut Avenue
“Jesus, D.C. drivers are the worst."
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Army combat fitness test adopted military-wide after rousing success with soldiers
Get excited.
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6 surefire ways to determine whether your chief petty officer is actually a vampire
The chief seems really suspicious.
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Democrats pander to troops with Dodge Charger loan forgiveness plan
“The fastest way to stimulate economic growth is to put money into the hands of E4s."
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Pentagon says it’s not mad at F-35, just disappointed
It may need to start paying rent, at least.
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New Marine Corps budget calls for more beefy boys with machine guns
“We’re in an era of great power-lifter competition."
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Soldier forced to write ‘I will not accuse anyone of sedition until I can properly define it’ on whiteboard 14,000 times
“Anybody who disagreed with him about vehicle maintenance procedures was either ‘treasonous,’ or ‘Karen.'"
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Handlers step in after dog develops extremist views
“He communicated mostly through memes and by unfriending dogs publicly."
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Navy considers crotch-level rank insignia in effort to avoid awkward chest gaze
The service may soon field crotch-level rank tabs to solve the problem of the “awkward chest gaze."
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Hollywood studios pass on Dan Crenshaw audition tape
"There is no universe in which Dan Crenshaw should have made this video. It’s a pass from Marvel."
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Early-warning system tells E-4s when First Sergeant is approaching
“Go figure that they managed to rig it together using duct tape, dip cans, and zip-ties.”
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'Rank is just a number,' says E-8 dating E-2
“It doesn’t hurt that she’s very mature for her rank.”
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