QUANTICO, Va. — The Marine Corps plans to introduce a new fitness program, although some detractors say it could stretch the limits of traditional physical training.

"This will prepare these new Marines for the real Corps,'' one senior enlisted Marine told reporters on condition of anonymity. "You have to be extra flexible when dealing with the Green Weenie. Them cheeks ain't gonna spread themselves."

Dubbed the Semper Gumby fitness program, officials say it will primarily focus on flexibility, with an emphasis on adjusting to an ever-changing battle field. Some new exercises include standing in formation for hours, hiking ungodly distances after transport fails to arrive, and bending over at the waist.