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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Thursday, 5 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

5 November 2026

1127 Zulu

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← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Space Force fitness test to be administered entirely in swivel chairs

“Swively rolly office chairs are a staple of the Space Force,” said Guardian Groot-Class Gaius Baltar.

Filed · 0500

THE PENTAGON — Top Space Force officials have approved the new service’s physical fitness test, which will take place in the comfort of a swivel chair.

“Swively rolly office chairs are a staple of the Space Force,” said Guardian Groot-Class Gaius Baltar, a public affairs spokesman. “Our goal was to design a physical fitness test with as few physical requirements as possible. We call it: the Kobayashi Maru.”

The test includes “full 720-degree rotations” in the swivel chair, backward scoots over a carpet protector, and a typing test.

“I’ve taken the test myself,” said Guardian Star-Lord John W. "Jay" Raymond of the Moon Department. “I will have you know that I scored 98 words a minute, and averaged 45 clicks a minute in StarCraft II.”

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