Space Force fitness test to be administered entirely in swivel chairs

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THE PENTAGON — Top Space Force officials have approved the new service’s physical fitness test, which will take place in the comfort of a swivel chair.

“Swively rolly office chairs are a staple of the Space Force,” said Guardian Groot-Class Gaius Baltar, a public affairs spokesman. “Our goal was to design a physical fitness test with as few physical requirements as possible. We call it: the Kobayashi Maru.”

The test includes “full 720-degree rotations” in the swivel chair, backward scoots over a carpet protector, and a typing test.

“I’ve taken the test myself,” said Guardian Star-Lord John W. "Jay" Raymond of the Moon Department. “I will have you know that I scored 98 words a minute, and averaged 45 clicks a minute in StarCraft II.”

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