VA benefits reduced to 9mm and bottle of bourbon
Secretary says package ‘covers most needs’ and ‘cuts out a lot of paperwork’
4 min read
Veterans
The people who are still mad about their DD-214 font size
ICE recruiters complain not enough candidates fail the ASVAB
Agency warns talent pool ‘dangerously close to functional literacy’
4 min read
Vet T-shirt company releases ‘shall be infringed’ line
Company says shift reflects ‘evolving understanding of constitutional rights’
3 min read
Study confirms best time to be in military was exactly 5 years before you joined
Every generation agrees: yours ruined everything.
2 min read
paid
Guy who almost joined military now enjoying career as ICE agent
He may still join the military, but only after his mom gets back from Bingo.
5 min read
members
Stephen miller calls ICE on commissary baggers for asking him to tip
“He screamed that tipping was socialism and threw a can of creamed corn at the nearest enlisted kid.”
3 min read
Inside the race to design the douchiest department of war t-shirt
Pete Hegseth demands designs that are ‘super fucking lethal.’
3 min read
members
Green Beans calls up reserve baristas
Company pledges espresso superiority across all combat zones.
3 min read
paid
VA launches negative disability ratings to fill budget gaps
“They’re going to charge me for ‘significant reduction in BMI’ due to losing my leg,” one veteran said.
4 min read
paid
This July 4th, remember to honor veterans who lost limbs last July 4th
Officials urge Americans to keep all limbs attached until at least July 5th
3 min read
paid
Trump declines parade march, citing sudden bone spur flare-up
Insists he's ‘more injured than most heroes’ after learning parade route involves walking.
3 min read
paid
California bans veteran burials due to unacceptable levels of PFAS
“While the military will assuredly go on destroying the world in life, the Golden State will not allow them to do so in death,” said Gov. Newsom.
3 min read
paid
Combat vet joins war on drugs
He's taking a firm stance not against, but in support of drug use.
3 min read
paid
Applebee's to offer free meals only to WWI veterans
“Honoring the troops is core to our brand,” said Lauren Trent, Applebee’s Chief Marketing Officer.
2 min read
paid
Man who sat out war declares war on those who didn't
"People say, ‘Oh, they risked their lives, they served their country.’ But did they ever have to convince a medical doctor to write a note? I don’t think so."
4 min read
paid
Duffel Blog’s guide to joining a foreign military
Looking for a fresh start in a foreign land? We've got you covered.
5 min read
paid
VA secretary promises to personally punch every veteran in the nutsack
“If you’re excited about these changes, just wait til you see what I do to your balls.”
3 min read
paid
DOGE says ‘22 a day’ isn’t nearly enough
“Look, 22 a day just isn’t going to cut it,” said DOGE chief Elon Musk.
3 min read
paid
Retiree at commissary reads entire label of Campbell’s chunky soup out loud
The soliloquy was witnessed by an audience of dozens in Aisle 3 during the lunchtime rush.
3 min read
paid
Incoming DNI Tulsi Gabbard vows to delete 'fake' intel connecting her to Russia
Meanwhile, local IT professionals have been baffled by a sudden surge in job listings for “data sanitization experts."
3 min read
paid
Ex-Army sniper prepares for potential VA healthcare cuts
"Look, I get it. Balancing the budget is hard," he said, gesturing toward a stack of unopened medical bills.
4 min read
paid
Mia khalifa not taking veteran PTSD lying down
Porn star spreading word, legs as required
5 min read
paid
Senator Tuberville puts hold on Veterans Day
Tuberville says his stance is not only morally correct but is also a means of solving a military personnel crisis.
3 min read
paid
Veterans suffer flashbacks after watching comedian bomb
One vet described the onslaught as “comedic IEDs.”
3 min read
paid
Veterans advise hurricane relief recipients on Rat-fucking MREs
“People may have been evacuated by soldiers, but they don’t have to eat like them."
4 min read
paid
Loading more stories...
Scroll for more
