WASHINGTON — The Department of Veterans Affairs revealed the solution to the crisis of veteran suicide and post-traumatic stress is only "a couple thousand Facebook Likes away," according to an official statement released today.

The Facebook "Like," a tool that instantaneously conveys heartfelt appreciation, unyielding support and zealous fervor for distant and unheard-of causes, has revolutionized the bandwagon movement and proven instrumental in combating post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

“The Facebook Like has virtually eliminated the need for physical and mental rehabilitation clinics, transition assistance programs, basic fellowship, and the loving embrace once provided by families,” said VA spokesperson Clyde Davies. “At the rate we’re going, PTSD will be cured by tomorrow.”

The alarming number of suicides stemming from untreated cases of PTSD has garnered significant media attention within the past few years, pulling into question the adequacy of treatment provided to afflicted veterans. Fortunately, the sympathy of flag-waving Americans on the Internet has had a palpable impact on tormented service members worldwide.