WARDAK PROVINCE, Afghanistan — Special Forces soldiers conducting operations to rid Afghanistan's notorious cave network of Taliban fighters were astounded to discover a platoon of Soviet-era forces who were left behind during the Cold War.

"It's amazing these guys are still alive after all these years," remarked one solder. "Usually we shoot now and ask questions later, but those red flags with the sickle and hammer caught my eye, which in turn saved their butts. Do you know how much money a flag in such pristine condition like that would fetch?"

While the Soviets were initially startled by the bearded special forces soldiers they believed were mujihadeen fighters who had finally found their hiding place, relief set in when they realized they were only weakling, capitalist pigdogs from a country that would soon be brought to its knees by the mighty Soviet Union.