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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

2317 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Mutant super-soldier can’t find job after service

Filed · 1539

TULSA, Okla. — Genetically-engineered combat veteran James Logan, who recently received an honorable discharge from the US Army after 14 years of service, is completely unable to find steady employment now that he has separated, sources say.

Logan cited problems with explaining military experience to civilian employers during a recent interview. “Microsoft told me that leading hundreds of heroes on a bloody warpath wasn’t really management experience,” Logan quipped while opening an unemployment decision letter with his metal claws. “If cold-blooded murder isn’t capitalism, I don’t know what is, Bub.”

Many of Logan’s government-created former teammates experienced similar issues.

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