Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Thursday, 1 October 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 117

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

1 October 2026

0601 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Army · Page 4

New study finds 80% of Army combatives training conducted on wives, bouncers

Filed · 1536

FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — Soldiers apply most of their skills acquired during the Modern Army Combatives Program on their wives, according to a new study released by the Army's Training and Doctrine Command.

"I mean, why would they teach us how to put someone in a headlock if they didn't want us to use it," said Pfc. Richard Williams, who currently faces 12 charges of domestic violence and is currently being separated from the Army as per the Lautenberg Amendment.

Williams took a one-hour combatives class during basic training and considers himself a "virtual wife ninja," sources say.

The Modern Army Combatives Program was formally introduced early during the War on Terror in a failed attempt to inculcate the "Warrior Ethos" into new recruits. According to General David Perkins, TRADOC Commander, the combatives program was largely useless on the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!