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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

2138 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Veterans · Page 2

Military movies are more enjoyable after being vet-splained, family reports

Filed · 1534

THE LIVING ROOM — It's a typical evening with the Jankowski family as they sit together watching a movie. On screen, soldiers are jumping into action when everything suddenly freezes. That can only mean one thing. Daddy's about to drop a knowledge bomb.

"Okay, anybody spot it?" asks 1st Sgt. Eric Jankowski. His wife Victoria looks at their 12-year-old daughter before smiling and taking the first guess.

"The flag on the lieutenant's shoulder should be subdued?" she asks.

"Wrong–well–okay, but something else." Jankowski pauses, licking his lips. "That L.T. is like, 40-years-old. He should be a snot nosed kid who doesn't know shit!"

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