DENVER — Sgt. Michael Howell of Denver is being hailed as a hero after rescuing a cougar that had become trapped in a local watering hole. Witnesses reported the cougar had wandered into the bar earlier in the evening but could not seem to get out of the establishment on her own.

“She was pacing around, looking kind of confused, like she didn’t know how she ended up in a popular college bar, surrounded by young, horny guys,” said one bystander.

Fortunately for the tawny predator, Howell was home on leave and in the right place at the right time. The muscular, attractive Howell had worked as a ski instructor before joining the Corps and spent a lot of time working with cougars on the slopes and around the ski lodge.