FORT JACKSON, S.C.—Medics at the 34th Infantry Troop Medical Clinic may disagree about primary season, but they are united in one cause: their agenda for free Motrin for all soldiers, regardless of race, class, gender, injury, liver functions, or amputations.

“Every soldier should have access to Motrin as a basic right,” said Spec. Greg “Burn” Sanders, the group’s collaborative, unelected chosen spokeshuman of the day. “For far too long, we’ve connected Motrin with having specific injuries or lack thereof. Now, we’re uniting to advocate for Motrin for all soldiers and their families.”

Though not officially endorsed by the Army, the medics at the TMC have begun to give Motrin, and only Motrin, free-of-charge, to anyone reporting to the clinic for injuries such as torn ACLs, as schizophrenia, elephantitis and priaprism. Medical costs initially rose considerably, but leveled out within six weeks when soldiers stopped reporting to the clinic.