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Trump overturns extra duty for three E-4s who were late for formation

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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has intervened on behalf of three Fort Bragg soldiers who found themselves in trouble recently. Spc. Willis Kerstetter, Michael Mills, and Hector Tapia—each assigned to Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 504th Infantry—arrived late for first formation Monday morning. First Sgt. Jimmie Owens assigned the soldiers a week of extra duty to help them “get themselves correct.”

Kerstetter went to Twitter and requested the assistance of the Commander-in-Chief.

“I saw on the internet [President Trump] pardoned some officers who were in trouble,” said Kerstetter, “so I figured he might help us. I mean, it’s not like we murdered anyone or anything.”

To their surprise, word came from brigade headquarters a few hours later informing the soldiers they no longer had to report for extra duty after hours.

“I couldn’t believe it worked,” said Mills. “I mean, I just figured Kerstetter was being a goof, as usual. But, it fucking worked! Oh, sorry, am I allowed to swear?”

Trump tweeted Monday night, “We train these boys in Specialist Forces [sic] to be killing machines, but then we lock them up for being a few minutes late? A lot of people have been saying these boys—they’re amazing soldiers; probably the best we have— were given a raw deal. NO WAY!!!”

None of the three have ever deployed.

First Sgt. Owens was on an unscheduled 12-mile ruck march and unavailable for comment.

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