Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’
Pentagon says condemned prisoners could compete for freedom in televised death matches
ARLINGTON, Va. — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has directed Pentagon officials to develop a new execution program modeled after The Running Man, arguing that hunting condemned prisoners through a televised obstacle course would be more humane and significantly more entertaining than a conventional firing squad.
"The president canceled the livestream because it wasn't fucking badass enough, dude," Hegseth told reporters. "People don't want to sit around watching some guy get shot. They want action. They want suspense. They want lethality."
Under the proposal, condemned prisoners would be released into an elaborate arena and pursued by heavily-armed military personnel known as Stalkers. Prisoners who successfully reach the exit would be granted their freedom.
The entire event would be livestreamed for $49.99.
"It's actually very fair," Hegseth said. "We're giving these guys a fighting chance. That's way more than they deserve."
Pentagon officials said the idea emerged after President Donald Trump canceled plans to broadcast the December execution of convicted Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan.
"We originally wanted Hasan to run the course," Hegseth said. "Unfortunately, the engineers told us
