Hegseth attends Army-Navy game in full pads
Defense Secretary insists he's “ready if they need me."
4 min read
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Latest issues
Navy football unveils new uniforms honoring Lisa Frank dolphins
Midshipmen say the rainbow dolphins “perfectly capture the soul of Navy football.”
4 min read
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Hegseth says he supports contributions of ‘colored troops and broads’
Despite lacking a Ranger tab, defense secretary critiques women who earned theirs
3 min read
Hegseth disappointed Sexual Assault Training only covers prevention
Defense Secretary allegedly confused training for a ‘how-to’ seminar.
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Duffel Blog presents: 10 other things Admiral Bradley is solely responsible for
Admiral also responsible for 90% of what’s wrong with America
6 min read
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Accountability! DoD IG fired over Hegseth Signal-gate report
SECDEF roots out deep state bureaucrats pushing radical left ideologies of law and ethics.
3 min read
Third-class petty officer promoted to first-class douchebag
Retired as captain, remembered as cautionary tale.
3 min read
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Pentagon recalls Hegseth to active duty for violating most of the UCMJ
“He promised accountability,” says lawyer holding 3,000-page indictment.
4 min read
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Hegseth demands female service members treat all orders as lawful
The policy was praised by creepy E-7s going through their second divorce.
3 min read
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Study confirms best time to be in military was exactly 5 years before you joined
Every generation agrees: yours ruined everything.
2 min read
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Pentagon orders Guard troops to return pay after judge rules DC mission ‘unlawful'
The ruling has sent shockwaves through the ranks, especially among those who bought essential items like divorce attorneys, energy drinks, and Zyn.
5 min read
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Saudi crown prince gifts Trump solid gold bone saw
Kingdom's sharp diplomatic gesture cuts through red tape and flesh
4 min read
Guy who almost joined military now enjoying career as ICE agent
He may still join the military, but only after his mom gets back from Bingo.
5 min read
members
Trump blows cover on Venezuela op, crushes SEALs’ dreams of book deals
“We trained our whole lives for this chapter,” sources say.
4 min read
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Pentagon says US has ‘turned a corner’ in War on America
Insurgents reportedly retreating into suburbs to secure oat milk supplies
4 min read
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Stephen Miller calls ICE on commissary baggers for asking him to tip
“He screamed that tipping was socialism and threw a can of creamed corn at the nearest enlisted kid.”
3 min read
True patriot: Hegseth maintains BAC of .1776 at all times
"Being perpetually blitzed isn’t medically advisable,” said a Navy doctor. “But behaviorally? It tracks.”
4 min read
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Cash-strapped Pentagon downgrades to military service with ads
After each crossing at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, sentinels now scream “AFLAC!”
3 min read
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Top 10 things SECDEF is spending money on while you’re not getting paid
It's nice to know he's having the time of his life.
5 min read
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Soldiers react positively to flavored vape pits
Troops say fruity clouds beat the smell of burning tires.
2 min read