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Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”

DoD establishes strategic porn reserve after Canada threatens to disable PornHub
Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.

Hegseth punishes himself with extra set of 47 pushups for leaking war plans
"Accountability has been my watchword from day one, and my little boo-boo is no exception,” he said.

Pentagon offers Black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers

NORTHCOM assures Canada new OPLAN Crimson just 'fun thought experiment'
"It’s just a fun little thought experiment for our planners to get some practice.”

Hegseth vows to implement new 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell' drinking policy

SOF in crisis after POG terrorist stacks more bodies than career Green Beret

Santa’s sleigh vaporized by heavy anti-aircraft fire over New Jersey

In momentary lapse of judgment, female Silver Star winner focused on warfighting
"We’re all a little confused about how this happened."

Lance corporal fears the worst now that his duty relief is 5 minutes late

Command and Staff students excited to wargame upcoming civil war
"No one gets to launch tactical nukes at Philadelphia until they’re 100% complete on annual training.”

127th Chemtrail Squadron annoyed Jews get credit for weather manipulation

Future Gold Star families torn over who will offer least support when their child dies
"Do I want Trump to forget to call me or Harris? It’s a pickle.”

Lance corporal asks squad leader to step aside for the good of the country

President who dropped Afghans from sky asks why you thought Gaza pier would go any better

Marines who jerked off in porta-potty welcome newborn chemical monster on Father’s Day
“We’re still not sure how this happened, but why question the miracle of life?”

Navy announces USS Hamid Karzai International Airport as second ship in new Despair-class

Iranian president witnesses firepower of fully armed and operational Jewish space laser

Marines surveyed about quality of life agree they would like some
Maybe just basic human rights and toasters in the barracks?