Program aims to maximize discipline, despair, and time spent not fighting wars
White House sources say ‘bombing foreigners’ remains preferred transparency substitute
“He promised accountability,” says lawyer holding 3,000-page indictment.
It's nice to know he's having the time of his life.
Defense secretary insists meeting is secure because it’s on Google Calendar as “Private”
Secretary of War orders maximum lethality, receives minimum validation
Pentagon insists new base name will really bring the country together this time
Audit finds lack of dead hang directly correlated with collapse of two nations
Budgetary offices across the service branches are scrambling after receiving the ambiguous guidance.
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.
"Accountability has been my watchword from day one, and my little boo-boo is no exception,” he said.
"“All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military," a spokesman said.
"It’s just a fun little thought experiment for our planners to get some practice.”
If he smells like tequila, ask no questions, and he’ll tell you no lies.
"Our nation expects only the best from SOF, including their transition to the crazed veteran life."
Santa’s sleigh has been lost to integrated air defense fire
"We’re all a little confused about how this happened."
"Five minutes late? Start checking the dumpsters.”
"No one gets to launch tactical nukes at Philadelphia until they’re 100% complete on annual training.”
"Yeah, I’m a little annoyed that, once again, everyone points to the Jews. Running the New World Order is a team effort."
"Do I want Trump to forget to call me or Harris? It’s a pickle.”
"For the good of the country and my own ass, he should step aside as squad leader.”
“God save the Queen, man, but we tried our best to alleviate the suffering of those Carthaginians there in the Plaza Strip,” said Biden.
“We’re still not sure how this happened, but why question the miracle of life?”
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