COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — An experimental Air Force effort to use the F-35 to prevent avalanches at Pike’s Peak has ended in disaster, after an avalanche severely damaged the Air Force Academy and killed hundreds of cadets.
The State of Colorado routinely causes small avalanches to avoid larger ones using World War II howitzers, but the Air Force saw an opportunity to show the versatility of its newest aircraft and offered to step in.
"Despite the unfortunate outcome, we have gained terrific data from what was graded a 90 percent success in this test operation," a Northrop Grumman spokesman said in a written statement.
Many Academy buildings were destroyed, including the world famous Chapel, though it was unclear if the low altitude sonic boom or the avalanche brought the Chapel down. Most of the cadets killed were at a satanic ritual in the basement of the chapel when the building collapsed.
According to NORAD spokesman Mike Kucharek, the accident occurred because of a navigational error.
“The stupendous F-35 visited the Air Force Academy to familiarize the cadets with the future of the service prior to its mission,” Kucharek said. “Upon departure, its super-advanced navigational computers required a tiny, inconsequential reboot due to a known but totally unimportant software glitch. Unfortunately, the reboot caused a small spatial error in the system’s amazing 3-D navigation system.”
