By Cat Astronaut

As Russia’s annual readiness exercise along its border with Ukraine enters its sixth week, reports indicate that as many as 15,000 Russian troops have been killed in the country’s longest and deadliest drill weekend on record.

“Worst drill weekend ever,” said Russian army reservist Sgt. Evgeniy Volotov. “I have no idea where we even are, let alone what to report on my travel claim. My [Russian version of Defense Travel System] voucher will never get approved!”

While Volotov says he always expects his unit to take “a handful of casualties” every drill period, or even to occasionally wander into a former Soviet republic, the live fire ranges that have so far killed or wounded half of his battalion are a little too complex for this phase in the unit’s pre-deployment training plan.

“The worst part is,” he added, “with all the casualties we’ve taken and equipment we’ve gotten destroyed, we’re definitely going to have a safety stand-down once we get back from the field.”

Russian…