By As for Class

BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — The last C-17 out of Afghanistan has been waiting for a Chief Warrant Officer 4 who said she'd “be right back” but they are starting to get worried since it’s been nearly two months.

“Chief told us she was going out for a pack of cigarettes,” Lt. Pete Simmons told reporters. “We’ve been on the tarmac ever since.”

According to senior defense officials, Chief Warrant Officer Angela Anderson has continued the time-honored tradition of telling subordinates she’ll be right back only to vanish for months at a time. But this isn’t the first time a chief has delayed operations. 

Indeed, a warrant officer once held up Operation Overlord, the massive D-Day invasion during World War II, because he wanted to sleep in. It was covered up as a weather delay.

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And another has been unofficially credited for the black mold on every military installation. Reports claimed that the warrant officer was supposed to be manning the telephones to receive reports of said mold.

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