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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Friday, 13 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

13 November 2026

1430 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
Navy & Marines · Page 5

Navy relieves itself of command

It's about time.

Filed · 0936

In an unprecedented move, the Navy announced today it would relieve itself of command due to a loss of trust and confidence.

“After firing over 750 officers and chiefs in the last month, it has become abundantly clear we lack the required sound decision-making skills to maintain control of the world’s second-largest maritime fighting force,” said Adm. Michael M. Gilday at a press conference announcing the decision.

“Plus, we no longer have the personnel to run things ourselves. It’s basically like a post-Covid Chick-Fil-a.”

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