SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vt. — In a stunning move from a company known for its liberal politics and opposition to violence, Ben & Jerry's has announced an ice cream flavor
WASHINGTON — This week, U.S. Secretary of Defense Mark Esper authorized ‘Skype-suit’ attire for teleconferencing, acquiescing to demands for relaxed uniform standards for teleworking and hoping to distract from recent
SWAMPSCOTT, Mass. — A man impersonating a National Guard soldier was promptly arrested today after authorities noticed he was "way too physically fit to be an actual Guardsman." "
THE PENTAGON — The Military Police Corps wants the country to know it is ready for action if the Insurrection Act is invoked. But deeming tear gas and bear mace “ineffective,
CAIRO, Egypt — Intelligence personnel across the Middle East are closely monitoring events in the United States, as civil unrest continues spreading in the aftermath of the death of 46-year-old George
FORT BRAGG, NC – In the wake of nationwide protests, many Airborne Infantry soldiers are now calling on the Pentagon to defund the Military Police Corps. Citing bias against paratroopers in
THE PENTAGON – The Air Force formally added a new career field to its ranks this week, the 3C5XX Combat Podcaster. Under development for three years, this new profession promises to
WASHINGTON — Military experts in counterinsurgency and nation-building claim they can bring nationwide protests against police brutality under control in just 17 years, sources report. “The unrest in our country is
FORT STEWART, Ga. — Since the implementation of social distancing across the Department of Defense, recognizing soldiers’ accomplishments has become more and more difficult. That hasn't slowed down Fort
FORT LEE, Virginia – Garrison and area residents are marveling at the specter of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant urinating on the main gate of this post in what is being called
ARLINGTON, Va. — The Association of Divorced General Officers issued a statement Saturday supporting the renaming of bases in light of recent racial tensions throughout the United States. Citing “irreconcilable differences”
DETROIT, Mich. — A military working dog's incendiary diatribe has gone viral amid escalating demand for the cancellation of the police-themed television show, "Paw Patrol," sources with
THE PENTAGON — After years of unsuccessful efforts to address entrenched racism and sexism in the ranks, the Pentagon stumbled upon a surprisingly effective solution that has virtually eradicated these issues
FORT MCCHRYSTAL, N.C. — Following a growing chorus of people calling to remove Confederate generals from the names of Army bases, the Pentagon today announced their intentions to rename posts
WILD HORSE, Colo. – Eyes rolling with the centripetal force of a parabolic orbit, sources derided a newly minted space cadet’s efforts to impress the local populace today, unanimously cataloguing
WASHINGTON — John Bolton's tell-all book has been revealed as 400 pages of a madman rambling about the need to bomb Iran, sources report. “Initially we tried to prevent
WASHINGTON — The US Navy has officially named a smart bomb after Capt. Brett Crozier, the officer who spoke up in order to protect his crew from COVID-19, in order to
FORT BRAGG, N.C. – Sgt. First Class Allison Roto's eyebrows set the example for lethality, sources say. In response to increasing threats from states like Iran and Russia,
LITTLE CREEK, Va. — With base gyms now open, sources report that the newly reported Admiral in charge of your command has taken the liberty of hosting a lively conversation with
WASHINGTON — After a long battle with customer satisfaction issues, the Department of Veterans Affairs—known to friends and coworkers as "VA"— took its own life in a veteran&
WASHINGTON — U.S. Marines stationed at Marine Barracks Washington ended this week’s Friday night Evening Parade in celebratory agreement, observing that “This one was really something,” even with it
Is this all there is? Oh my ... I think this is all there is. I was born to be a warrior. My maker designed me in the ashes of 9/
FORT CARSON, Colo. — Major Carl Vandemeer inadvertently awakened a Balrog this past Thursday, sources said, while delving into the 4th Infantry Division shared drive for an old product to reference.
FORT KNOX, Ky. — Your career manager is “emotionally” exhausted from screwing so many people today, sources report. Capt. Melanie Benford, who manages the careers of aviation captains, reportedly screwed over
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