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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Friday, 13 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

13 November 2026

2243 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Tricare to extend benefits to that girl you hooked up with two years ago

Filed · 1533

FALLS CHURCH, Va. — Tricare will extend benefits to that one girl named Kyle, Kelly, or maybe it was Carly from Tinder that you hooked up with two years ago, sources confirmed today.

According to recent surveys, the chief complaint about the military's health care system has been a "lack of care." Which is why officials believe that by allowing Carla, Kara, or whatever her name was to receive health coverage, Tricare will be greatly improved.

“There’s two ways to address ‘lack of care,’” said Jay Farmer, a Tricare spokesman. “You can either increase the quality, or increase the quantity. Since the former would require inquiries, studies, listening to patients and their needs, and a lot of budget increases — which we're not prepared to do — increasing quantity is much easier.”

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