SOUTH CHINA SEA – A spokesman for USS Port Royal (CG 73) reported the death of Executive Officer Cdr. Mark George today, after he was executed on the flight deck of the guided missile cruiser.

George was sentenced to death by his commanding officer, Capt. Sherman Foley, after the ship received unfavorable results on its annual command climate survey, known as the Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute's Organizational Climate Survey (DEOCS).

"The annual DEOCS is always a stressful time for me," said Foley, a career surface warfare officer (SWO). "It's a fight to the death to make flag. I can't have any inklings of negative command climate."

Foley executed George by speaking at length about his command philosophy. The crew donned ear protection to shield themselves from the seemingly endless stream of tautologies, hypocrisies and cliches.