Detroit, Mich. — With the communists in Congress engaged in the worst witch hunt in history, it can seem like loyalty to the President is hard to come by. That’s what makes real American heroes like local veteran Will Anders so incredible.
“They call Trump a warmonger, then complain when he ends the war in Syria,” Anders said, taking a brief break from ranting in his pickup truck about homosexuals in the military. “They need to make up their—wait, we’re still in Syria? And now we’re starting a war with Iran? Good.”
“Our only mistake in Iraq and Afghanistan was not committing hard enough. We need to stay the course.”
Now THAT is a patriot! Unlike shiftless Democrats, Anders has stuck by President Trump through thick and thin. No matter how abrupt, contradictory, or ill-advised Trump’s decisions are, Anders is there to cheer him on.
“I supported the President’s decision to have our troops serve as a buffer between Turkey and Rojava,” Anders told us. “And when he pulled the troops out at Turkey’s request. And when he condemned Turkey for invading despite giving them permission to do it. And when he said he was going to immediately bring the troops home. And when he turned around and sent them to Iraq.
And when he sent more troops back into Syria to take their oil,” Anders added, despite spending years angrily insisting that America was liberating the Middle East from Islamic fascism, not looting it of resources. “It’s about time we get paid for all the freedom we’ve brought them!”
Anders isn’t just loyal on matters of foreign policy, though. Lesser men might draw the line at Trump insulting and belittling members of the military, but to Anders, “brotherhood” and “honor” are just words. No matter what the President says or does to his fellow veterans, Anders is ready to roll over and support him without question!
“That Colonel Vindman POG needs to stay in his lane,” Anders said, referring to a Purple Heart recipient and fellow infantry combat veteran. “He’s almost as bad as that overrated prick Mattis and those pussy Gold Star families.”
Damn right, sergeant! These seasoned warfighters might have been willing to die for Anders on the battlefield, but their refusal to blindly support Trump makes them no better than any other libtard traitor. These snowflakes need to shut up and honor the oath they made to OUR PRESIDENT Trump. The sooner they do, the sooner we can get out of (or accelerate) the war in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, and possibly Iran!