PENTAGON — The Department of Defense has announced an agreement with the LEGO Group, which will begin manufacturing the next generation of landmines for use on the Korean peninsula.

"This is going to be a game-changer," said Col. Michael Roberts of Army Logistics and Materiel Command. "We've been looking for a new landmine that's going to get those ‘1997 Mine Ban Treaty’ snowflakes off our backs while ensuring the force remains fully mission capable."

The new landmines are meant to disrupt enemy operations without causing death. Parents know those little plastic bricks carry enough pain to knock a grown man to his knees while screaming in agony.