Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed

Newly metamorphosed SECNAV emerges from cocoon

THE PENTAGON — Gloriously spreading its wings as it clawed its way through layers of finely woven silk, a newly metamorphosed Secretary of the Navy emerged from its cocoon this morning to assume its post.

"It's so magnificent to see these SECNAVs transform from dull, harebrained corporate bureaucrats in their pupal stage into colorful secretaries of a military department in just a few short weeks," said military ecologist Sharon Blank. "I only wish we could see them flap their wings on the northern Virginia breeze a bit longer. But, alas, they are all fated to resign in disgrace after a matter of months, whereupon their tired bodies are sacrificed to the apex predator Jimicus mattisus."

The head post in the Department of the Navy has changed hands numerous times over the past three years, and experts are worried the local population of SECNAV larvae may not be able to support the changes.

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal
WELCOME10 — 10% off applied at checkout

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!