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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Saturday, 17 October 2026

OpFor

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

Tehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

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Vol. 15 · No. 124

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Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

17 October 2026

1206 Zulu

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· Page 2

Biden wanders into war room after hearing reports of Chinese lunch

Who doesn't love a good catered launch?

Filed · 0500

WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden wandered into the White House Situation Room earlier today asking about reports of a Chinese lunch he had been hearing so much about.

“Did I miss all the egg rolls?” Biden asked a confused Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark A. Milley. “Cut the malarky, I don’t see any wontons.”

Chief of Staff Ron Klain then explained to Biden there was no dim sum, only a “regular old boring” meeting to discuss concerns over a recent Chinese missile launch.

“C’mon man,” said Biden. “These meetings would be a lot more fun if it was a catered launch. Back when I was V.P. I at least brought poppyseed muffins every time we deployed more troops to Afghanistan.”

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