WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden wandered into the White House Situation Room earlier today asking about reports of a Chinese lunch he had been hearing so much about.

“Did I miss all the egg rolls?” Biden asked a confused Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark A. Milley. “Cut the malarky, I don’t see any wontons.”

Chief of Staff Ron Klain then explained to Biden there was no dim sum, only a “regular old boring” meeting to discuss concerns over a recent Chinese missile launch.

“C’mon man,” said Biden. “These meetings would be a lot more fun if it was a catered launch. Back when I was V.P. I at least brought poppyseed muffins every time we deployed more troops to Afghanistan.”