WASHINGTON — In a blatant attempt to curry favor with first-tour enlistees, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has announced a Democrat-led plan to forgive debt troops have accrued on Dodge Chargers.

“These brave young men and women are under a lot of pressure to buy Dodge Chargers at an age where they don’t fully understand the long-term impact of their choices,” said Pelosi (D-Calif.). “The Sharing Charger Access Measure Act, or SCAM Act, will help our troops safely get the Dodge Chargers with the Hemi and Plum Crazy paint job they need to be respectable to their peers when they peel into the parking lot one minute before PT formation.

“We owe it to them for the sacrifices they make every day, and honestly it’s unacceptable that specialists have been so poorly supported in the last administration that they’re paying for spoilers out of pocket.”

House Republicans are angry that the measure has been shoved into the legislative agenda with little concern for the cost.