Police To Question USS Vincennes Over Malaysian Airliner Disappearance

KUALA LUMPUR — As the search for Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 enters its second week, the Royal Malaysian Police have identified another person — or in this case, ship — of interest in the case of the missing plane, and have asked the public for help in locating the USS Vincennes (CG-49).

"Based on its track record of being near other passenger airliners that have suddenly vanished without a trace, we think it is only prudent that we sit down with the USS Vincennes and establish its nautical whereabouts on the night in question," explained Inspector General Khalid Abu Bakar at a press conference.

Bakar took care to stress that the Vincennes was not considered a suspect in the airline's disappearance, but added that it should be considered "armed and extremely dangerous." He advised members of the public not to approach the warship "in anything less than carrier battle group strength."

Speaking via a conference call from Bremerton, Wash., longtime acquaintance USS Sides (FFG-14) admitted it hadn't actually heard from the Vincennes in four years, but insisted "this has its fingerprints all over it: the plane's sudden disappearance from radar, the suspicious Iranian passengers, the giggling over the radio, you name it."

The Vincennes' last known location was in a crate of razor blades near the cash register at a Costco in Philadelphia.