My name is Kurt Vonnegut, and I fought in the Battle of the Bulge and came slightly unstuck in time. I’m here to give you your weekend safety briefing,
The night Max wore his unicorn suit and made mischief of one kind and another his first sergeant called him "Dirt bag!" And Max said "BLOW ME!
MOSUL, Iraq — The Iraqi city of Mosul has been chosen to host this year's international IED Hide and Seek Games, an event which pits the world’s most
THE PENTAGON – Retired Marine Gen. Jim Mattis has made it clear that he is in fact no one’s secretary. In an effort to better align the title of his
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Local Consolidated Issue Facility (CIF) attendant Robert Jones upheld the high standards of his profession earlier this week when he turned away a triple amputee'
THE PENTAGON — Following repeated calls for a "mini troop surge" to assist the struggling Afghan security forces, the Army's Second Hobbit Brigade has begun preparations to
RAQQAH, Syria - Kaalim al-Ibrahim, a front-line fighter for ISIS, has marked himself "safe" on Facebook after a firefight with US Special Forces, sources confirmed today. The status
Camp Pendleton. Hours before a 72. Heavily-tattooed Marines standing in formation. All amped up for the weekend. Ready to kill. Ready to fuck. Patiently waiting to be cut loose so
FORT HOOD, Texas — Army Maj. Jared Barney got home from work early yesterday, expecting a celebration. Instead he was disappointed to find business as normal: his wife, Samantha, was uninterested
GUANTANAMO BAY — The Pentagon has released an unlawful enemy combatant from the Guantanamo Bay detention facility after learning the male detainee was actually a transgender woman, sources confirmed. "Detainee
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NORFOLK, Va. — The U.S. Navy's 7th Fleet announced that the sailor thought to be lost at sea and found a week later hiding in the engine room
CLEVELAND — Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) recently put Hilton Hotels in his crosshairs after learning his Hilton Honors points from his nearly six-year stay at the Hanoi Hilton in North Vietnam
AUGUSTA, Ga. — Although her parents, coworkers, and supervisors were all hopeful given the name of her birth, alleged NSA leaker and Air Force veteran Reality Winner is more accurately described
MIRAMAR, Calif. — The Islamic State (ISIS) has taken credit for yesterday's foul and heinous action which blew up the bathroom of Marine Maj. Gen. Mark Wise. The incident
WASHINGTON — The Army has unveiled a new 700-part operations order in an effort to eliminate guilt small unit leaders may feel sending their soldiers to die in wars no one
O Corporals! Lance Corporals your fearful week is done; The ship has weather'd every rack, the ale you sought is won; The port is near, the smoke and
FORT LEE, Va. – In a new trial program being tested at the Logistics Warrior Center of Excellence, staff officers will finally be able to eat some of the foods they
ABERDEEN PROVING GROUND, Md. — Brigadier General William E. King, commander of the 20th Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear and Something Beginning With E (CBRNE) Command, is retiring in July after a
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — The battalion adjutant dropped shit on the desk of the executive officer late early this morning, sources confirmed. Though the XO is used to having a
TEMPE, Ariz. – A team from Arizona State University has secured top honors in the U.S. Army’s competitive Best Rager Competition, the military’s highest honor for raging ass
WASHINGTON — The Metropolitan Police Special Tactics Branch was activated Saturday night after a fatigued Secretary of Defense James Mattis took eight lives during a casual walk through the downtown area.
WASHINGTON — Department of Veterans Affairs Phone Outreach Assistance Specialist Janice Edlers has been on hold with Comcast since 10 a.m., sources report. “This is not just incredibly frustrating, it’
Eazy is my name and you best not be…. Straight outta condoms… Y'all are brothers from another mutha And make believe the bitches all love ya
WASHINGTON — The Department of Veterans Affairs plans to tackle the problem of long call wait times by automatically disconnecting calls that keep a veteran on hold for 30 minutes, sources
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