SAN DIEGO — Naval officer and self-described "warrior-scholar" Lt. Mark Chadwick was saved from drowning by his massively inflated ego during a training exercise earlier this week, sources confirmed.
THE INTERNET — First Sergeant has invited you to stand barracks duty the night of the Marines Corps Birthday Ball by posting a video to YouTube, sources confirmed today. Sources say
PENTAGON — After weighing overwhelming feedback from active-duty soldiers opposed to costly uniform changes, the US Army has decided to redesign its current uniform on an annual basis, sources confirmed today.
All veterans know that returning to civilian life after the service can be tough. It's even tougher to find a job that matches with the particular set of
The following is a point/counterpoint discussion about the best way to respond to a mass reply-all email. The point will be presented by USARCENT, while the counterpoint will be
The following is an op-ed written by your battalion sergeant major. Semper Fidelis, Marines! It's Marine Corps birthday time! Yes, that's right. Back on Nov. 10,
The following is an op-ed article written by Jesus. Seriously fam. See that guy's shirt in the picture above? Stop wearing this stupid shirt. Ever since I met
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — The number of robot citizens in Saudi Arabia was reduced back to zero today after Sophia Robot was beheaded in a public square in Riyadh. Sophia made
Editor’s Note: The following is the opening excerpt from “A Tourist’s Guide to Afghanistan” by Bowe Bergdahl. The world-renowned author is a former US Army soldier and adventurer,
DAMASCUS, Syria — The mystery of Bugs Bunny’s recent disappearance took a troubling turn after ISIS claimed to have taken him hostage, sources confirmed today. The kidnapping of the iconic
NEW YORK — The military's fleet of ceremonial F-35 floats has been temporarily grounded after one of the vehicles exploded during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, destroying
OUTER BANKS, NC — Kitesurfing may seem like a perfectly harmless activity if you’re a pretentious douche bag who wants to piss off other mariners, but if that's
ANNAPOLIS, Md. – Retired Navy Capt. Krissy Dickinson admitted at a retired officers’ luncheon on Sunday that she had been drawing sky vulvas her entire career. “Those boys think they invented
MILLINGTON, Tenn. — The US Navy's recruiting command will soon debut its latest television commercial set to air nationwide, which promises potential naval aviators adventure, and the ability to
SEOUL — President Donald Trump reportedly cancelled plans for a last minute visit to the demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea upon learning that the DMZ wasn’t celebrity
THE INTERNET — Yet another asshole has tagged you in a Facebook post about Veteran's Day, sources confirmed today. The post, written by that guy in your platoon you
WASHINGTON — The turkey pardoned by President Donald Trump has had multiple contacts with Russian officials over the past year, Duffel Blog has learned. Grav E. Gobbles, a 4-year-old bird from
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Two Florida women adrift on a weathered sailboat in the Atlantic Ocean for the past three weeks are "doing just fine so stop asking, okay," according
STILLWATER, Okla. — Local veteran Chase Wilkerson, a former Army infantryman and quadriplegic, literally can’t even right now, sources confirmed today. Wilkerson, who was paralyzed by an IED strike in
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A local Fox News viewer and self-proclaimed patriot has been gripped by panic and indecision upon hearing that a white police officer recently shot and killed an unarmed
THE PENTAGON — Firefights with enemy combatants are 96.3% more likely after hearing protection has been removed. according to a new Pentagon study. The results came at the conclusion of
Few people will ever know the hardships and adversity faced by those who raise their right hand and take an oath to serve our country. With less than 1% of
THE WHITE HOUSE — President Donald Trump on Monday released his long-awaited strategy for Afghanistan, saying that he plans to surge thousands of additional US troops and open a new Trump
COLUMBUS, Ga. �� After reading a copy of the Constitution left in the day room while on CQ, Pvt. Austin Morris was shocked by his recent decision to support and defend
PENTAGON — Amid a wave of sexual assault allegations emerging in both politics and the entertainment industry, 12 Air Force budget analysts have come forward and accused the F-35 of assault
Shipping & taxes calculated at checkout.
