“You should’ve seen what those beaches were wearing," the captain said.
The embattled Pentagon chief, long viewed as a DUI hire, is looking for the exits.
“Honoring the troops is core to our brand,” said Lauren Trent, Applebee’s Chief Marketing Officer.
"There’s no ‘I’ in team" but there are three 'U's in "shut the f--k up"
The service's novel approach is to recruit technologically adept virgins into the intelligence community.
"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”
Duffel Blog obtained the confidential memo.
"The supplier increased the cost by 145%."
Anonymous clergy sources confirmed that Francis had reviewed Vance’s background and uttered the words “Not today, Satan."
A 34-inch, 32-ounce piece of American maple hurtling through international waters with big league dreams.
“I just want to do my job, follow orders, and not think about all that foreign policy blah blah blah.”
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
"People say, ‘Oh, they risked their lives, they served their country.’ But did they ever have to convince a medical doctor to write a note? I don’t think so."
Names and “zingers” questioning another service member’s sexual orientation are allowed immediately.
Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.
"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”
Black mold is now able to serve openly in the barracks with no special treatment and will be judged fairly against other barracks residents.
"Accountability has been my watchword from day one, and my little boo-boo is no exception,” he said.
Intel update briefing prepared by National Security Advisor Mike Waltz
Strike plans—whatever you want to call them—it's classified okay?
“I was shocked when I heard Pete was the source of the Pentagon leaks,” said Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.
All we asked for was 80% compliance.
“It reminds me of this one time when I was in this chick’s OODA Loop and accidentally gave her Plan Bravo instead of Plan B the next morning."
“He won’t stop,” said Sgt. Jake Mendoza, rolling his eyes.
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