Guam finally capsizes

THE PACIFIC OCEAN—After years of warnings from Congress, the island of Guam has finally capsized, according to several Department of Defense officials familiar with the matter. Satellite

Air Force testing vegan napalm

EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. — The U.S. Air Force is testing an improved,vegan version of the classic Cold War throwback weapon napalm, according to Air Force

Hotels in Iran deemed unsuitable for Air Force deployment needs

TEHRAN, Iran — An Air Force feasibility study has revealed that Iran has no hotels that meet the high standards for housing U.S. Air Force airmen should they

Air Force gentrifies Marine MOUT

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — While conducting training at the Camp Lejeune M.O.U.T. (Military Operations in Urban Terrain) town over the weekend, the Marines of 3rd

Air Force authorizes ‘combat podcaster’ career field

THE PENTAGON – The Air Force formally added a new career field to its ranks this week, the 3C5XX Combat Podcaster. Under development for three years, this new profession

Toxic Air Force colonel promoted to toxic Air Force general

THE PENTAGON — A toxic Air Force colonel who had previously berated her Wing subordinates to the point they would crawl under their desks and cry has been promoted

Air Force veteran’s PTSD triggered by familiar office ringtone

DAYTON, Ohio — Air Force veteran Blake Miller is reported to be in "stable condition" after his PTSD was triggered by a ringtone that reminded him of

Air Force robot dog sad it never had balls to lick

NELLIS AFB, Nevada — The initial fielding of Air Force tactical robot dogs revealed a potentially critical glitch: The dogs are depressed by their unfulfillable need to lick their

Air Force smart bomb too clever for dumb Navy bomb

NEVADA TEST AND TRAINING RANGE, Nev. — After winning a competition at the military’s annual Red Flag exercise, an Air Force Small Diameter Bomb II was just too

Air Force ignores ‘take one’ trick-or-treat sign

THE PENTAGON — General Charles Q. Brown, Chief of Staff of the Air Force, was seen going back to a bowl of candy bars labeled “take one” twice at

Air Force starts using highly effective ‘glitter bomb’ against Taliban

BAGRAM AIRFIELD, AFGHANISTAN - The Air Force has released information regarding a new weapon in their arsenal: The MX784 Irritant Dispersant, or “Glitter Bomb” as it is known in

In stunning 5-4 decision, Supreme Court declares Air Force unconstitutional

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Supreme Court, in a shocking decision, declared the U.S. Air Force unconstitutional earlier today. In a 5-4 decision, the high

ISAF drops candy to Afghan children, kills 51

MAZAR-I-SHARIF, AFGHANISTAN - In a tragic accident earlier today, aircraft belonging to the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) inadvertently killed 51 Afghans near the city of Mazar-

Air Force investigation finds rampant cheating, 'frat house behavior' among key leaders

Colorado Springs, CO - A recent investigation by the Air Force found shocking evidence of cheating pilots, outsourcing, and other behavior many outsiders have called "outrageous." The

Air Force MQ-9 reaper diagnosed with PTSD, refuses to fly

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN – In the latest setback to America's drone war over Pakistan, one of its MQ-9 Reapers was recently diagnosed with a severe case of

In apparent supply order mix-up, Air Force gives AIDS to Afghan village

Air Force announces new 'tape under the fold' regulation for PT test

SAN ANTONIO, TX – In an unprecedented maneuver, the United States Air Force has decided to modify its Physical Training Test to include taping under stomach folds during the

Shocking report: Air Force Colonel explodes

PATRICK AFB, FL - The 45th Space Wing Operations Group is in mourning this week after the sudden “death by explosion” of their group commander, Colonel Alan Riddick, on

Breastfeeding moms by infantry barracks 'not fooling anyone'

CAMP HORNO, CA – A pair of breastfeeding airmen outside the infantry barracks at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton "aren't fooling anyone," according to Gunnery

Air Force releases new computer based training to increase CBT efficiency

RANDOLPH AFB, TX - The Air Force Personnel Center (AFPC) announced Friday the fielding of a Computer Based Training (CBT) module to reduce the time spent on CBTs. “This

U.S. Air Force turns 65; looks forward to retirement in spring

THE PENTAGON - In a surprise announcement earlier today, General Mark Welsh III, Air Force Chief of Staff, revealed that the Air Force is planning to retire sometime in

Drone pilot to receive first Air Force medal of honor since Vietnam

INDIAN SPRINGS, NV – An Air Force drone pilot who managed to fly his MQ-9 Reaper for 120 straight hours through multiple firefights will receive the Medal of