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Navy
The service that floats around the world looking for Wi-Fi.
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Atheist, CrossFitting Navy SEAL hasn't told anyone he vapes
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — An atheist Navy SEAL who practices CrossFit and built his own gaming PC hasn't told anyone about his vaping
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
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Navy heeds Sen. McCain's advice to end 100-hour work week, increases to 168
WASHINGTON — Senior Navy leaders announced that sailors would no longer be forced to work 100 hours per week, and instead would work at least 168 per week, sources
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Drowning Navy officer miraculously saved by his inflated ego
SAN DIEGO — Naval officer and self-described "warrior-scholar" Lt. Mark Chadwick was saved from drowning by his massively inflated ego during a training exercise earlier
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Meet the groundbreaking female Navy pilot who's been drawing sky vulvas for years
ANNAPOLIS, Md. – Retired Navy Capt. Krissy Dickinson admitted at a retired officers’ luncheon on Sunday that she had been drawing sky vulvas her entire career. “Those boys think
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Navy's new recruiting ad promises aviators adventure, ability to draw dicks in the sky
MILLINGTON, Tenn. — The US Navy's recruiting command will soon debut its latest television commercial set to air nationwide, which promises potential naval aviators adventure, and the
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy secretary finally updates 'days without incident' board
WASHINGTON — Saying it was about time someone finally did something, Navy Secretary Richard V. Spencer updated the service's official “Days Without Incident” whiteboard this week, setting
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read'Best galley in the Navy' innovates with small plates, tasting menus
U.S.S. LEYTE GULF — Culinary Specialist 2nd Class James Mendoza is bringing innovation and restaurant-style flair to his galley, giving millennial sailors their favorite gastronomic trends
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
Navy gets around personnel shortage by making each sailor 30% larger
NORFOLK, Va. — The U.S. Navy announced it would forgive past fitness test failures and halt fitness discharges in an attempt to keep the overall size of the
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy replaces command photos with command mugshots
NORFOLK, VA. – In his first action as Commander of U.S. Surface Forces, Rear Adm. Richard Brown has announced that all ships will phase out official command photos
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy cook afraid he may have left ship's oven on
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Culinary Specialist 2nd Class Calvin Marshall was enjoying a quiet post-deployment dinner with his family when he became awash in pangs of crippling self-doubt,
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy SEAL thrown off airplane, demoted to Navy SEL
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The man who shot and killed Osama bin Laden in 2011 has been demoted by the Navy from SEAL (Sea-Air-Land) to SEL after he
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
'Eternal flaming wheelbarrow full of cash' picked as Global War on Terror memorial
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National Park Service has announced the selection of a design called The Eternal Flaming Wheelbarrow Of Cash as a memorial to honor veterans who
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min read
BREAKING: You need to report for a 'random' urinalysis
YOUR BASE — Sources at the base headquarters office are reporting that you and everyone else in your unit are to report immediately to the base fitness center for
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readNavy launches massive show of force with song-and-dance routine in South China sea
PACIFIC OCEAN — In an unprecedented show of force as the United States and China battle for supremacy in the South China Sea, the U.S. Navy's
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
True courage: After hitting an iceberg, this Navy Captain went down on his entire ship
THE NORTH ATLANTIC — Talk about courage on the high seas! When Navy Capt. Oral Mendelson's ship hit an iceberg, he didn't hesitate or jump
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
Navy to christen USS Tig Ol Bitties after service allows people to vote online for ship's name
WASHINGTON – Heads are shaking while others cheer after a failed publicity stunt led to the Navy's next Zumwalt-class destroyer being named the USS Tig Ol
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readLocal man claims he could be US Navy SEAL after Fortnite victories
BOSTON — A 32-year-old Boston man claims his success on the popular video game “Fortnite” could lead to a successful career as a United States Navy SEAL.
Oct 5, 2022 · 2 min readMattis says Trump asked the difference between Navy SEALs and seals
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump asked his defense secretary to explain whether seals and Navy SEALs were the same thing during a recent national security briefing, sources confirmed today.
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readFrench Navy christens new Mimesweeper
PARIS — Adm. Jean Vantinel, Chef d'état-major de la Marine of the French Navy, has announced the Marine Nationale will christen the world’s most technologically-
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy totally going to turn this ship around if Marines don't stop poking each other
PACIFIC OCEAN — The Navy has warned it will indeed turn this ship around if the Marines onboard don't stop poking each other, sources confirmed today. "
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy approves man-buns for sailors
WASHINGTON — Citing the importance of recruiting in the 18 to 24-year-old demographic, the U.S. Navy has updated its policy to allow sailors to wear man-
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy clarifies the difference between RUMINT, scuttlebutt and gouge
WASHINGTON — The Chief of Naval Operations today published a long-awaited instruction clarifying the difference between rumor intelligence, scuttlebutt and gouge. OPNAV Instruction 9710894.666, Understanding and Disseminating
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy plans to swell recruitment and retention through increased use of phallic imagery
THE PENTAGON — As part of a push to entice more young, strapping men to the Navy, the service announced a new campaign to increase the utilization of phallic
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readNavy plans to reduce suicide by monitoring sailors at all times
NORFOLK, Va. — The U.S. Navy plans to reduce suicide in its ranks by monitoring sailors at all times, sources confirmed today. “Not a moment will pass in
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min readSTDs get tested for sailors
PHUKET, Thailand — Sexually transmitted diseases have been racing to nearby clinics to get checked for sailors in an effort to curb a spate of recent outbreaks, sources confirmed
Oct 5, 2022 · 1 min read
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