For more than a decade, we&#x27;ve deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Navy chief who's proud to be a chief wears chief T-shirt that says so

NORFOLK, Va. — After a long day of work on the ship, there is nothing that Navy Chief Petty Officer Roy Lopez enjoys more than shedding his Chief uniform,

Navy: I can quit drinking Anytime I want

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Navy said Wednesday that it did not have a drinking problem and it could "totally quit drinking anytime," sources confirmed.

US 'deeply concerned' after Chinese jets sink Navy aircraft carrier

THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said on Sunday he was "deeply concerned" after Chinese fighter jets sunk a U.S. Navy carrier in international waters

Sick of cleaning toilets and mopping floors, janitor enlists for Navy adventure

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Saying he’s fed up with cleaning toilets for a living, local janitor Sean Ritchie announced Wednesday that he’s putting down his mop for good

US Navy's 'talk like a pirate day' celebrations go terribly wrong

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus has ordered an immediate, fleet-wide halt to all "Talk Like A Pirate Day" activities, after a

Navy sends rescued Fishermen $37 million bill

NORFOLK, Va. — When the Navy helicopter approached Bob and Doug McKenzie's lifeboat, they felt only gratitude at their impending rescue, after the brothers' fishing boat

Navy chaplain Corps commissions first death cultist

NAS INNSMOUTH, Mass. — The Navy commissioned the military's first death cultist chaplain in an Eldritch ceremony September 28, according to sources in the Secretary of the

Navy celebrates lonely 239th birthday in bed with pint of ice cream

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Navy celebrated its 239th birthday locked inside its bedroom, gorging itself on a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby,” sources

Opinion: Drug users are a disgrace to Navy values

The following is an op-ed by a retired U.S. Navy Public Affairs Officer. Navy Values are not something you can just turn on and off at

Navy recruiters struggle with 'alarmingly high' sexual good conduct among senior leaders

NAVAL STATION NORFOLK, Va. — In the wake of a series of high-profile scandals involving top-ranking Air Force and Army officials, the Navy's senior leadership

Captain receives Navy cross after successfully finishing entire deployment

SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Navy Capt. Steve Easting received the Navy Cross from Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus in a pierside ceremony today, honoring Easting's completion

Navy quietly scuttles bill Cosby sexual assault prevention video

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of a series of shocking rape allegations against comedian and Navy veteran Bill Cosby, the U.S. Navy has quietly killed plans

Navy restricts honorary chief bill Cosby to scrubbing honorary toilets

WALTER REED NATIONAL MEDICAL CENTER — Honorary Chief Petty Officer William Cosby was called before an honorary Captain’s Mast Thursday at the Navy’s Medical Command in Bethesda

Army-Navy game prepares west pointers for similar battlefield results

BALTIMORE, Md. — The Army-Navy Game has provided critical insight into the effort it takes to fight futilely for an unattainable victory to future Army second lieutenants for

Major ISIS offensive goes unnoticed during Army-Navy game

RAQQA, Syria — The big winner of today's Army-Navy game may have been the Islamic State, which fought and won a major offensive while the U.

San Diego sailors make peace with God as steady rain threatens life as we know it

SAN DIEGO, Calif. – The worst storm to slam sunny San Diego in the past six years has encouraged thousands of sailors to repent for their sins and seek

‘I weep for our nation,’ remarks fly on wall at Navy basic training

GREAT LAKES, Ill. – From his withdrawn perch on the bulkhead, Solomon B. McFly reported that he was suddenly overcome by a pervasive and unremitting wave of sorrow as

Navy worried sailors quitting ‘faster than they can be fired’

WASHINGTON — In an interview with the Naval Institute’s web site last month, Vice Adm. Bill Moran, Deputy Chief of Naval Operations for Manpower, Personnel, Training and Education,

Negligent weapon shoots watch stander in the foot

SAN DIEGO, Calif. – A firearm stationed aboard the USS Boxer (LHD-4) has been charged with negligence, reckless endangerment and assault after it wounded a sailor on watch,

The history of the battleship in 15 awesome pictures

Ah, battleships: is there anything more majestic than a set of sixteen-inch guns rising up in the air, ready to ejaculate a set of armor-piercing shells

Oct 5, 2022 · 5 min read

Sailor who can't wiz accurately into toilet still manning the .50-cal

USS CURTIS WILBUR — Sailors aboard USS Curtis Wilbur (DDG-54) are reacting in shock after learning that a crewmember has recently qualified to stand watch on one of