Intel whistleblower accuses director of national intelligence of being Tulsi Gabbard
Officials deny claim, insist DNI ‘almost certainly a man’
4 min read
W.E. Linde
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Saudi crown prince gifts Trump solid gold bone saw
Kingdom's sharp diplomatic gesture cuts through red tape and flesh
4 min read
Putin meets with high-level asset in Alaska
U.S. intel community describes situation as “super-weird, even for Alaska”
2 min read
Grandma just wants to know if that was you dropping bombs on Iran
Family sources confirm she also believes you’re in charge of NORAD.
2 min read
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Pentagon releases list of approved racial and sexual epithets
Names and “zingers” questioning another service member’s sexual orientation are allowed immediately.
3 min read
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'It's like living in a school zone,' says rattled secret service agent protecting Trump
"What am I, seven years old?” said Special Agent David Radcliff.
3 min read
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Trump criticized for 'sneaking in a quick nine' at Arlington national cemetery
“Where’s McCain?” Trump asked. “I want to make a chip shot off his headstone.”
3 min read
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North Koreans celebrate Kim Jong un winning every Olympic gold medal
“The divine athleticism of our Dear Leader has shocked the war mongering West."
3 min read
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Air Force celebrates pride month with rainbow-colored munitions
The service "wants to create an inclusive environment for those we have to blow up, regardless of sexual preferences," according to Secretary Frank Kendall.
3 min read
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'Just an exercise,' says USAF of ominous, ancient Egyptian-style gate erected ahead of eclipse
Families encouraged "to cower before the searing Judgment to come.”
2 min read
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'Army am lowering standards more for morer recruit', says Army
Polls indicate youth may not like mold-choked barracks, food insecurity.
2 min read
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Zombies who devoured Camp Lejeune personnel may be entitled to compensation
Final settlements will be subject to class size and recovery. Also brains.
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"Nailed it!", says Intel officer who assessed Middle East violence as "possible"
This kid is going places.
2 min read
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Kim Jong un returns to Russia on fanciful dirigible
"He just giggled and watched Johnny Depp movies on repeat the whole way there."
1 min read
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Allies criticize US for sending clusterfucks to Ukraine
International concern that children may blindly step into clusterf-cks for years
1 min read
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Russia news swings back to boring Ukraine invasion & war crimes
Gah! Can we get a comment from Doja Cat or something?
1 min read
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CIA concerned about TikTok’s "leak classified US intelligence" challenge
Totally sus videos living rent-free in their head
1 min read
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Meet the Memorial Day patriot stopping people from putting flags on graves of veterans who didn’t die in combat
A self-described “super humble guy,” O’Tool is quick to recount his exploits protecting the dignity of Memorial Day.
2 min read
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Oh no! The LT thinks he’s mentoring you
The passage of time is but a cruel fiction; there is nothing but pain for you now
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Russia’s victory day parade one vet, mean donkey
No wounded guys, doesn't look good
1 min read
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Chinese spy balloon made mostly out of classified US documents
They are common building material now.
2 min read
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Nerd Intel officer won’t store top secret documents outside SCIF
Total dork probably eats his boogers
1 min read
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Sergeant major says no one is leaving Afghanistan until all the brass is picked up
Not one swinging dick is boarding a plane until this place is spotless
2 min read
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Top 7 worst military memorials
Road trip, anyone?
4 min read
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China close to developing own 'Top Gun' film
Nipping at our heels.
2 min read
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