Army admits warrant officers aren’t real
Yes Virginia it's true, there are no warrant officers.
By As for Class
In the pantheon of military traditions and secrets, none has been more protected than what should have been obvious all along: warrant officers aren't real.
Yes. It’s true.
Just like Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and Marines who don’t hate being Marines, it turns out that warrant officers are just figments of our imaginations.
"We first started with the basic reports," said Lt. Gen. Donna W. Martin, commander of the Army Inspector General office. "We've all heard the stories: warrants not showing up to work, soldiers finding only a cover on a desk with warrant officer rank on it, strange rituals."
Investigators initially believed that maybe warrants were regional creatures, only appearing stateside, or possibly in the wilds of European-stationed Veterans of Foreign Wars bars.
But they were disappointed to find only a slew of discarded warrant officer covers, cold coffee in mugs, and rumors.
This was true across all military intelligence units, aviation squadrons, and every as…
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